Angelita Biscotti
“States of fluidity with Ayman Kaake”

In Testing the Water Ayman dons the abaya from his Counihan solo show Misbaha, and dances. In Misbaha, the abaya was draped on a plinth with an invitation for gallery visitors to inscribe their response to the question: “What sacrifice did you have to make to meet social expectation?” Over 200 replies were written. Ayman’s expressive, expansive movements are a contrast to the sorrowful confessions listed on the garment, repeated in whispered audio that reverberates across the gallery. Uncanny and contemplative, the work binds the past exhibition to the present and the present exhibition to circumstances beyond the gallery.

In recent correspondence, Ayman said:

“This video is a celebration of the body, and a queer one at that. It is especially meaningful because over 200 people have gifted me their words, yet I have not yet written my own. The video is a performative exploration of a queer body wearing a religious item. particularly in Lebanon, where it is not cultural clothing but is often seen in mosques and as a symbol of religion. I have always been in the shadow of these symbols. It reflects the dilemma of seeking societal acceptance while staying true to myself, often living a dual identity to navigate societal expectations—expectations that are not written but are inherited, passed down through whispers across generations, embodied by the word ‘shame’ that we bring to the family name, community, or party.”

In much of Ayman’s conceptual art, the empty space between the figure and other objects in large-scale portraits speak to distances that don’t resolve in closure. SEE, a video self-portrait presented as part of the Misbaha exhibition depicts him in an abaya, prayer beads in hand, suspended in flight. The suspended figure is a repeating motif in his art over the years.

What is different about Testing the Water is the emphasis on movement and grounding. Ayman wears the words and moves with them, as he himself is moved by his audience’s generosity. Ayman says: “I perform the things I have hidden until I feel safe. This includes ‘belly dancing.’ Belly dancing is a type of dance that only women are allowed to do. The performance of whirling is a metaphor for replacing the women’s skirt with a skirt men wear for religious dancing, which is acceptable. Whirling here is an exaggerated act used as a tool for concealment. Dancing with and around the norms, surviving societal punishment.”

In his book The Prophet, the Lebanese mystic Kahlil Gibran states “beauty is life when life unveils her holy face. But you are life and you are the veil.”

Many of us need to be witnessed to recognise our beauty, dignity and worth. Yet we live in a world where queer people of faith are often ostracised and rendered outcasts in our communities. Ayman says:

“It’s as if no matter how much you pray and fast, queerness automatically condemns you to hell. This is a human, societal, and cultural judgment rooted in patriarchal and political systems, not divine decree.”

In times of crisis, there is sanctuary in seeing oneself through God’s eyes. Here one can look to Gibran again: “The freest song comes not through bars and wires. And he to whom worshipping is a window, to open but also to shut, has not yet visited the house of his soul whose windows are from dawn to dawn … look about you and you shall see Him playing… walking in the cloud… smiling… rising… waving.”

Faith, like hope, like love, is a cat-stretch of the soul.